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Whats the difference between a woman and a battery?
A battery has a positive side!
The life of a penis:
I only have one eye
my hair is messy
my skin is wrinkly
my relatives are nuts
my neighbours an asshole
and my best friend is a c**t
One night, three guys are at a bar talking and they all think their wives are cheating on them.
The first guy says he thinks his wife is screwing a plumber because he found a tool belt under his bed.
They all agree, and the second guy tells his story. He says he thinks his wife is screwing a judge because he found a robe and gavel under his bed.
They all agree, and then the third guy says, "That's nothing! My wife is the worst! I came home and found a cowboy under my bed. I can't believe she's screwing a horse."
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