Where are the jokes?

How do you make 5 pounds look good?

Stick a nipple on it

Claude-Bobine: im bored of gurgi and berg69 pgain at end of members tourney
Claude-Bobine: i can be ur slave

zoid, that joke goes with your pic?

What do you call 11 Ethiopian women with yeast infections?

Cheesy Fries

A couple of New Jersey hunters (AKA Mafioso affiliates) are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator... 'My friend is dead! What can I do?'

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says... 'Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he is dead.'

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson goes on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes", replies Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. " "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our bloody tent!"

Whenever your feeling blue, just be happy your not a siamese twin..........and your gay brother has a date tonight........and you only have 1 asshole

Where does a black man sleep?

In a noose.

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?



Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away!