MEMO FROM THE APLAYR AFFAIRS DESK

DATE: MAY 1, 1994

FROM: DR. MIKE Y. POO

SUBJECT: THE DEATH OF RND:

rnd finishes 1st in round 37.
Rank: 1st Score: +165 to 4061â—†.
(+108 for 1st and +57 for dominance)
rnd stands up

600 GAMES PLAYED 4061 DIAMONDS. DEAD.

NOTES ON THE PASSING OF A KDICE MONSTER....HE WAS A LIAR ND A QUITTER, AND HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN BURIED AT SEA. ...BUT HE WAS, AFTER ALL, THE KING.

"And he cried mightily with a strong voice, saying Babylon the great is fallen, is fallen, and is becoming the habitation of devils, and the hold of every foul spirit and a cage of every unclean and hateful bird."--REVELATION 18:2

RND is gone now and I am poorer for it. He was the real thing--a political monster straight out of Grendel and a very dangerous enemy. He could shake your hand and stab you in the back at the same time. He lied to his friends and betrayed the trust of his family.

I have had my own bloody relationship with RND for many months, but I am not worried about it landing me in hell with him. I have already been there with that bastard, and I am a better person for it. RND had the unique ability to make his enemies seem honorable, and we developed a keen sense of fraternity. Some of my best friends have hated RND all their lives. My mother hates RND, my son hates RND, I hate RND, and this hatred has brought us together.

RND laughed when I told him this. "Don't worry," he said. "I, too, am a family man, and we feel the same way about you."

It was RND who got me into kpolitics, and now that he's gone, I feel lonely. He was a giant in his way. As long as RND was politically alive--and he was, all the way to the end--we could always be sure of finding the enemy on the Low Road. There was no need to look anywhere else for the evil bastard. He had the fighting instincts of a badger trapped by hounds. The badger will roll over on its back and emit a smell of death, which confuses the dogs and lures them in for the traditional ripping and tearing action. But it is usually the badger who does the ripping and tearing. It is a beast that fights best on its back: rolling under the throat of the enemy and seizing it by thehead with all four claws.

That was RND's style--and if you forgot, he would kill you as a lesson to the others. Badgers don't fight fair, bubba. That's why God made dachshunds.

RND is a character in a game that is so much bigger than KDice ever tried to be -- a persona created to entertain. He played on another level, in a meta-world that many others participated in. What some have called underhanded, or cheating, were tactics that were initiated in order to compete in this meta-game -- tactics that were not invented or begun with RND, only perfected. Many now continue to use some of those tactics, but without the mystique and entertainment value that once drew myself, as well as many others, to play on the metalevel.

During a time when Ryan was busy with other things, several players began to create law where there once was none. Perhaps we were wrong. The virtual world that was created, was however, more fun for those that could see it, and participate in it, than anything previously seen. The meta-level relationships were seen as an extension of the changes to the game. A game which was once played for only 10 or 20 minutes, now drew on for an entire month. Winning the month meant strings of consecutive wins and the only way to strategically do that was to create a fan base -- whether through love or fear -- a group of people who participated in one way or another in repeated victory. (i prefer to think i that i chose love and RND chose hate but some would debate that)

I do find it disheartening though, that RND has received so much grief for things done several months ago -- and stopping then -- while players with pristine reputations, and dark secrets, continued to flourish. There are players from many countries: Germany, Canadians (the-worst)Turkey, Russia, the United States, zimbabwe, Liechtenstein and some states (Vermont) that continue to practice the dark arts under the radar -- these people are among you and subverting your best interest -- Yet he is blamed for all of it. Near the end of his Klife he may have had some minor slip ups. But can attest that to his dyeing day, even from his wheelchair, nobody tried harder to clean up the game and help Kdice recover from its ailments -- and for that we should all thank him.

The aura and mystique of rnd was built on the backs of giants. Thanks go to his pallbearers bcmatt,, comik, dasfury, montecarlo, integral, grunvagr, hart, and hayal. Its good to see that cabal together again after such hard times. Many thanks also go to his frequent opponents and victims in the game who both felt his terror yet respected his devious manipulation abilities. These people include: Hunter s. Thompson, bigjumblies, kwizatz, leekstep, luck, (me)mikeypoo, nighstalker, stacy, petomni, cabbage, Diceygirl, racoontail, ryan, unlucky9s, jagger, facejon, sinth, wicked, jpc4, wishbone, Sozod, Andernut, Dicelord and xc -- those who loved him --- none of this would have been possible without you.

The family opted for cremation until they were advised of the potentially onerous implications of a strictly private, unwitnessed burning of the body of the man who was, after all the King of KDice. Awkward questions might be raised, dark allusions to Hitler and Rasputin. People would be filing lawsuits to get their hands on the dental and penile charts. Long court battles would be inevitable--some with liberal cranks bitching about corpus delicti and habeas corpus and others with giant insurance companies trying not to pay off on his death benefits. Either way, an orgy of greed and duplicity was sure to follow any public hint that RND might have somehow faked his own death or been cryogenically transferred to fascist Chinese interests on the Central Asian Mainland.

It would also play into the hands of those millions of self-stigmatized patriots like me who believe these things already.

Let there be no mistake in the history books about that. RND was an evil man--evil in a way that only those who believe in the physical reality of the Devil can understand it. He was utterly without ethics or morals or any bedrock sense of decency. Nobody trusted him--except maybe the Cabal, and honest historians will remember him mainly as a rat who kept scrambling to get back on the ship.

It is fitting that RND's final gesture to the American people was a clearly illegal series of 21 105-mm howitzer blasts that shattered the peace of a residential neighborhood and permanently disturbed many children. Neighbors also complained about another unsanctioned burial in the yard at the old Nixon place, which was brazenly illegal. "It makes the whole neighborhood like a graveyard," said one. "And it fucks up my children's sense of values."

Many were incensed about the howitzers--but they knew there was nothing they could do about it--not with the current president sitting about 50 yards away and laughing at the roar of the cannons. It was RND's last war, and he won.


KICKING NIXON WHILE HE WAS UP

It is Nixon himself who represents that dark, venal and incurably violent side of the American character that almost every country in the world has learned to fear and despise. Our Barbie-doll president, with his Barbie-doll wife and his boxful of Barbie-doll children is also America's answer to the monstrous Mr. Hyde. He speaks for the Werewolf in us; the bully, the predatory shyster who turns into something unspeakable, full of claws and bleeding string warts, on nights when the moon comes too close....

Sincerely, Mikeypoo
Last Champion of the ELO era.
(Many thanks to Hunter S. Thompson)